We all have that one thing we believe will bring us true happiness - it could be a new job, a loving relationship, a coveted promotion, or a grand accomplishment. However, what if happiness is not something that we need to wait for? What if it is something that we can experience right here, right now? This concept was eloquently captured in a quote I came across recently: “There’s no happiness that we are going to feel in our future that we don’t already have now”. Let that notion marinate for a moment. In this blog post, we will delve into the idea that the source of happiness is within us, and how coaching conversations can be instrumental in helping us tap into that wellspring of inner joy and contentment.
The Illusion of Future Happiness
It's common to think of happiness as a distant destination that we'll finally reach after achieving all our goals and dreams. However, this type of happiness is often short-lived and elusive. Once we attain one milestone, our focus immediately shifts to the next one, leading us to perpetually chase the next 'ifs ‘& when’s’. Whether it's "if I land that job," “when I find that special someone," or "if I receive that promotion," we convince ourselves that happiness lies in the future. But this line of thinking only leaves us trapped in a perpetual cycle, constantly yearning for a tomorrow that may never come.
The Power of the Present Moment So, where does happiness truly come from if not from achieving our goals? Many experts believe that happiness is a state of being that originates from within us. It is not something we have to wait for or earn; it is something we can nurture in the present moment. This involves focusing on the ‘today’, what’s happening for you today? What’s going on for you today? What will fill your cup with joy today? Instead of constantly looking ahead to a future that doesn’t yet exist. It’s about recognising moments of joy and gratitude in the present.
Practically speaking, this can mean talking through your thoughts with a friend or professional to better understand your situation and how to move forward. By vocalizing our thoughts, we can release their power over us and regain control of our situation. Clients frequently express to me how valuable it is to talk things through with a coach, saying things like "It's amazing how much of a difference it makes to say out loud what's been in my head." A little conversation can go a long way.
Coaching can help you refocus your mind on what's within your control, shift your mindset and generate the momentum you need to take action.
Accessing Your Inner Wellspring of Happiness
One of the most impactful ways to access our inner wellspring of happiness is through coaching conversations. These conversations provide a safe, non-judgmental space where we can explore our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. They help us gain clarity and insight into what genuinely matters to us and how we can align our actions with our values. Additionally, coaching conversations facilitate the development of self-awareness and mindfulness, which are vital for experiencing happiness in the present moment.
Happiness isn't something that we have to constantly chase after. As a coach, I often ask my clients a simple yet powerful question: "What would you be thinking if you were feeling happy right now?" This inquiry helps clients let go of the illusion of future happiness and instead focus on the little steps they can take today to tap into their inner wellspring of joy and contentment. By breaking down the pursuit of happiness into manageable actions, clients can cultivate a mindset that prioritizes happiness in the present moment, rather than constantly searching for it in the future.
Coaching conversations can be an invaluable tool for helping us access that inner wellspring, and start living our happiest, most fulfilling lives So if you're feeling stuck or unsure of your next steps, consider talking to a coach, a trusted friend or a therapist. It could be the conversation you need to unlock your potential and achieve your goals.
Toluwa is a passionate leadership development & well-being coach with a focus on cultivating leaders who embody both backbone and heart. They are dedicated to supporting organizations in creating inclusive workspaces and driving high performance through inclusive leadership.
Their approach centers on working with emerging, mid-level, and senior leaders to unlock their full potential and break negative thinking patterns and feelings of hopelessness. By creating psychologically safe spaces for their teams, Toluwa empowers leaders to help their colleagues thrive and drive business success. Toluwa achieves these outcomes through a range of services, including leadership, well-being, and DEI workshops that can be delivered both in-person and virtually. They also offer personalized 1-2-1 coaching and team/group coaching sessions to help leaders maximize their impact and create positive change within their organizations