🌱 Navigating Comparison & Imposter Syndrome: Reclaiming Your Worth in a World That Keeps You Second-Guessing

How are you feeling — really? 

Take a pause. On a scale of 1–10, how grounded do you feel in who you are today?

Whether you're new to a job, navigating university, parenthood or simply in a season of change, that creeping voice of “Am I good enough?” can feel loud.

And you’re not alone.

As a mindset coach and founder of TeawithTols and Zoah, I’ve spent years creating safe spaces for women to unpack these very feelings, and this one always hits home: imposter syndrome and comparison.

But here’s the truth:

We can’t begin to tackle them until we understand what’s beneath the surface.

❄️ It’s Not Just About Imposter Syndrome —It’s About Worth

You’ve probably had thoughts like:

• “Everybody else seems to be doing great, I’m falling behind.”

• “I’m not the kind of person who does well in school/work/life.”

• “I don’t belong here — they’re going to find me out.”

If you nodded even slightly, you’re in good company.

Imposter syndrome often shows up when we’re in new territory: a new job, a big opportunity, a place where we feel stretched. It’s not a sign of failure; it’s actually a sign of growth. But the problem is, we tend to link discomfort with self-worth. And that belief that we’re only as good as our last success or how comfortable we feel —is what we need to unlearn.

So let’s go deeper.

🪞The First Shift: Awareness Over Assumptions

Self-awareness isn’t just about knowing your flaws. It’s about owning your strengths and recognising where you’re growing.

Let me ask you this: If you had 10 coins, each worth a day’s wage, and you lost one, wouldn’t you spend time searching for it? And when you found it, wouldn’t you celebrate?

Now imagine you use a strength you didn’t even realise you had. Do you stop to acknowledge it?

Most of us don’t. We bypass our brilliance, and it slowly chips away at our confidence.

🌟 Your challenge:

Start journaling the moments in your day where you felt in flow, where something felt easy or energising. There are clues to your strengths there.

🐒 Nigerian Wisdom (And Why It Matters)

There’s a proverb from my Nigerian heritage that says:

“The bird will never discover its true abilities if it keeps trying to be like the monkey.”

Let that sit with you.

If you’re constantly surrounded by people climbing different trees, people who don’t get your gifts or make you feel “less than”, it’s easy to question your wings.

That’s why the people around you matter.

Surround yourself with those who see you, challenge you, and nurture your growth. People who clap when you win and hold space when you wobble.

🌻 So, What Now?

Here’s your 4-part mindset reframe to carry forward:

1. Notice the language you use about yourself — is it critical or kind?

   
   

2. Own your strengths and limitations — both can be your teachers.

   
   

3. Nurture your inner validation — your worth isn’t dependent on applause.

   
   

4. Check your circle — growth needs fertile soil, not shade.

Final Reflection 💬

What’s one thing you’re going to do differently after reading this?

Maybe you’ll write down three strengths this week. Maybe you’ll catch yourself when you say “I’m not good enough” and reframe it to “I’m learning.” Maybe you’ll text a friend who makes you feel like the best version of you.

Whatever it is, you deserve to plant your feet in your own worth.

Not because you’ve earned it.

But because it’s always been there.